Please submit your critiques and evaluations in the comments.
May 29, 2009
May 26, 2009
Get A Flip!
This morning I was reminded of doing flips into my pool. With summer quickly approaching, this was a major bummer.
We moved out of our house with the pool when I was 14. Back then, I spent most of my entering-the-pool energy on perfecting the Superman dive and pool running. I was late to the whole front flip, back flip thing. A few belly flops here and there but there was definite improvement over those last couple summers. Still, I was nowhere near qualifying for the Olympics. Unacceptable.
I guess my point is that I miss running as fast as I can, jumping into the air, and flailing my body around without having to worry about paralysis when I land.
This reminds me of another pool-related point. Plugging your nose while jumping, diving, or going down the slide is considered bad form. Just breathe out your nose when you hit the water dummy! For Your Health.
We moved out of our house with the pool when I was 14. Back then, I spent most of my entering-the-pool energy on perfecting the Superman dive and pool running. I was late to the whole front flip, back flip thing. A few belly flops here and there but there was definite improvement over those last couple summers. Still, I was nowhere near qualifying for the Olympics. Unacceptable.
I guess my point is that I miss running as fast as I can, jumping into the air, and flailing my body around without having to worry about paralysis when I land.
This reminds me of another pool-related point. Plugging your nose while jumping, diving, or going down the slide is considered bad form. Just breathe out your nose when you hit the water dummy! For Your Health.
May 23, 2009
May 22, 2009
May 20, 2009
May 16, 2009
May 15, 2009
Omeggelette
Since I like to keep my postings as incestuous* as possible, this post is inspired by a post from another blog which was inspired by a post on my blog which was inspired by yet another post on another blog. Got it? Good!
*None of us are related as far as I know.
This one got a little out of hand... or should I say robotic claw?
A quickie:
*None of us are related as far as I know.
This one got a little out of hand... or should I say robotic claw?
A quickie:
May 14, 2009
In Transit
I took six buses yesterday. Here are some things I saw while either waiting for them or trying to board them:
A man in a suit paying the $2.40 fare in pennies. The coin receptacle jammed a few times so the driver pulled out his pocket knife and stabbed them down. He was in an unusually good mood for a bus driver, going so far as to make a crack about how there must be a China piggy bank in pieces somewhere.
A man wearing short shorts, a backpack, a fanny pack and a purse digging through garbage cans. There were four cans in close proximity and he would walk back and forth between them. (Perhaps because he might have missed something?) He took a leisurely break to smoke a cigarette butt from off the ground and read a newspaper from the garbage.
A blind woman feeling around on the ground for her guide dog's poop. Need I say more?
A man in a suit paying the $2.40 fare in pennies. The coin receptacle jammed a few times so the driver pulled out his pocket knife and stabbed them down. He was in an unusually good mood for a bus driver, going so far as to make a crack about how there must be a China piggy bank in pieces somewhere.
A man wearing short shorts, a backpack, a fanny pack and a purse digging through garbage cans. There were four cans in close proximity and he would walk back and forth between them. (Perhaps because he might have missed something?) He took a leisurely break to smoke a cigarette butt from off the ground and read a newspaper from the garbage.
A blind woman feeling around on the ground for her guide dog's poop. Need I say more?
May 13, 2009
Missed Connections
You: Pretty young woman on the bus with blonde highlights in a pink sweater minding your own business.
Me: Vincent Price circa 1988 look-alike with arched eyebrows and a cane sitting next to you watching your every move.
Me: Vincent Price circa 1988 look-alike with arched eyebrows and a cane sitting next to you watching your every move.
May 12, 2009
May 11, 2009
May 10, 2009
May 9, 2009
Omegle
Drew from Toothpaste For Dinner brought this website to my attention. My conversation lasted a little bit longer than his.
It's the wave of the future.
It's the wave of the future.
May 8, 2009
May 5, 2009
Sitting On Babies
More babysitting, you guys!!!
It started out with the mother dropping off her daughter along with two Happy Meals. Theses meals succeeded in making me happy since I was hungry and did not feel like cooking or doing the subsequent dishes. Mama also gave her a fiver, so I took her to the store to buy candy, which I ended up picking out for her. She's far too indecisive and agreeable with me.
Not wanting to watch the Disney channel for three hours, I took her to the park. Kids LOVE the park. My maternal instincts we're kicking in; all the adults at the park were male and middle-aged. I watched her like a hawk, which was easy since I was running around with her the whole time. From the swings to the slides to the rocking horse thing, it eventually escalated into Tag.
"I call T!"
"I call coffee!"
"What's coffee?"
"A substitute for tea!"
She even let me swing her around by her hands! I say let because, though she does enjoy it, I have an impulse to swing small children in circles by either their hands or feet. Is this so wrong? Maybe it's because I quickly grew too big to be swung around by my limbs as a child. Making up for lost swinging time.
It was all good until some nine-ish year old boy showed up with an overly-active man in his early sixties. They were pretty much playing tag with a tennis ball. The boy had quite the arm and the man had quite the face to have hit with said tennis ball. The boy was racing around the jungle gym telling toddlers to get out of his way and using a sprinkling of mild language. When he started shouting "WHO WANTS TO PLAY?!" I knew it was time to leave.
A couple of Disney channel shows later, I broke out the arts and farts and crafts. Markers, crayons, spider writers, gel pens, stickers, construction paper, funky scissors, glue sicks and even feathers! She made cards for her parents, I made a cootie catcher. All in all, it's a pretty good way of making money. Maybe I should do it full time. Motherhood, that is. Baby makin' 24/7.
It started out with the mother dropping off her daughter along with two Happy Meals. Theses meals succeeded in making me happy since I was hungry and did not feel like cooking or doing the subsequent dishes. Mama also gave her a fiver, so I took her to the store to buy candy, which I ended up picking out for her. She's far too indecisive and agreeable with me.
Not wanting to watch the Disney channel for three hours, I took her to the park. Kids LOVE the park. My maternal instincts we're kicking in; all the adults at the park were male and middle-aged. I watched her like a hawk, which was easy since I was running around with her the whole time. From the swings to the slides to the rocking horse thing, it eventually escalated into Tag.
"I call T!"
"I call coffee!"
"What's coffee?"
"A substitute for tea!"
She even let me swing her around by her hands! I say let because, though she does enjoy it, I have an impulse to swing small children in circles by either their hands or feet. Is this so wrong? Maybe it's because I quickly grew too big to be swung around by my limbs as a child. Making up for lost swinging time.
It was all good until some nine-ish year old boy showed up with an overly-active man in his early sixties. They were pretty much playing tag with a tennis ball. The boy had quite the arm and the man had quite the face to have hit with said tennis ball. The boy was racing around the jungle gym telling toddlers to get out of his way and using a sprinkling of mild language. When he started shouting "WHO WANTS TO PLAY?!" I knew it was time to leave.
A couple of Disney channel shows later, I broke out the arts and farts and crafts. Markers, crayons, spider writers, gel pens, stickers, construction paper, funky scissors, glue sicks and even feathers! She made cards for her parents, I made a cootie catcher. All in all, it's a pretty good way of making money. Maybe I should do it full time. Motherhood, that is. Baby makin' 24/7.
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