Deconstructing Deconstructing Harry

-Woody Allen, Bob Balaban, a 9 year old and a hooker in the same car? CHECK.
-Billy Crystal as the leader of the underworld? CHECK.
-Julia Louis Dreyfus getting it on with some old dude? CHECK.
-Robin Williams literally out of focus? CHECK.

My review: Not bad, not bad at all.

Adorable Birth Defects Pt. 4

Adorable Birth Defects Pt. 3

They've been separated. Cuteness nullified.

Adorable Birth Defects Pt. 2

Adorable Birth Defects Pt. 1

Don't Read This

I had three distinct dreams last night. The first of which was about two women sitting at a table having a conversation that seemed very provocative at the time. So good, that I was aware of it in my dream and tried waking myself up so I could write it down before I forgot it. Damned sleep apnea. Here's what I could remember of it when I finally woke up:

"What's the ketchup for?"
"My omelette."
"You don't like ketchup."
"I like having the option."
She would later learn to regret saying this.

This was only the tip of the iceberg. It eventually took a turn for the serious. It wasn't as if I was one of the characters or observing this happen, it was as if I was controlling it and writing it as I went. A dream that I forgot. Worth it's own post? Perhaps not.
Consider yourself lucky that I didn't go into the next two dreams.

Cyclops In Rainbows

I'm sick of LeVar Burton. His ass is popping up everywhere lately; The Soup, Loveline, even on Kevin Pollak's Stickam channel. What is he even promoting? A new Star Trek/Reading Rainbow DVD release? You can't have two capital letters in your first name! And that facial hair! At least have the dignity to pick up some Just For Men. 175, 312 followers on Twitter? Absurd! Sick tat, brah.

























Update: Mr. Burton has gained 165 followers on Twitter since I started typing this. I guess I'm alone on this one.

Bucket List

• break an arm or leg
• give birth
• own another dog
• get a tattoo I regret
• be on TV, for any reason
• colour my hair (not very lofty, just unlikely)
  
• visit another province or territory
• leave the continent
• fend off an attacker
• fend off a lion, tiger or bear
  
• poop in the shower
• meet Sloan (also not very lofty)
• visit the Kinder factory
  
• go undercover (fake moustache)
• use the men's room when the ladies room is occupied
  

(the last 2 would most likely occur simultaneously)

Fan

A teetering ceiling fan makes for an exciting night;
you may wake up to a face full of rapidly rotating blades.

You Make My Dreams Come Drew

I dreamt about Dr. Drew last night.

We were outside in a cottage-on-the-lake-type setting. The two of us were talking a 22 year old through her relationship problems. She had a quick temper and was your typical concrete-thinking Loveline caller. We then learned she had a child. All I remember besides this is ending up in bathing suits and wading around in the lake, still trying to calm this girl down. Drew was getting a bad sunburn on his shoulders. I tsk-tsked him and was trying to cover them up with my forearms in an attempt to prevent further burning. This is what happens when you fall asleep listening to Loveline.

More dream recounts to come...

Lord, We Don't Need Another Vest

What the world needs now is jackets, leather jackets. It's the only thing that there's just too little of. What the world needs now is jackets, leather jackets. No, not just for some, but for everyone.

St. Patrick's Day

My hair is orange and I'm sitting at home on St. Patrick's Day. I'm about as Irish as it gets. I'm talking "Is that chick's hair on fire?" "Maybe, but why's her skin so freakishly pale?" No boozing either. Something just ain't quite right.











I don't see the connection. It must be one of those Jesus Christ/Easter Bunny-type situations.

What Makes Me Laugh

I know what you're wondering. What makes Sara LOL? Well, you've come to the right place; my stupid blog. This video is a very good example of what makes me laugh out loud. Let this be a warning: the following video may arouse you. But SRSLY, it's RLY funny. Watch it. ALL OF IT.

Thanks For Reading

...but I have nothing to blog about right now.
Besides really really really wishing I could play an instrument.

Emotions Materialized

Possible Career Paths

• Phone sex operator
• Vigilante abortionist
• Open letter writer
• Joke recycler
• Wal-Mart greeter
• Myth purveyor
  
• Hand/foot model
• Abstract painter
• Children's book author
• Crossing guard

Why I Might Be Gay

Wearing plaid flannel shirts, track jackets and Hush Puppies socks, my lifelong disinterest in Brad Pitt, my lifelong interest in stand-up comedy, Keeley Hazell's boobs.